ask ringo

What the FAQ with the instamatics leading beatbox and all round nice device.

Q. What's it like being a drum machine in a digital world?
A. Most days I feel like an atomic clock but every now and then I have a down day and wind-up feeling like a trashy secondhand palm pilot from Cash Converters.

Q. What would you say to those people who prefer analogue drummers over drum machines?
A. Wake up sucka - this is the digital rock revolution!

Q. How do you feel about power failures?
A. They are a concern I must admit. If it came down to it, the boys could play unplugged without me - having said that, they rock a whole lot more when I'm on.

Q. Which do you prefer on a slimline electronic device: New age one pieces with intricate designs or the old school tried and tested two piece?
A. Hey man, I'll take it any way I can get it!

Q. Ringo, I'm thinking of getting a new pet. Would you choose a dingo, a flamingo, or a dog called Bingo?
A. Neither. I'd run a parrot called Lingo, open the cage and watch it fly into the sunset.

Q Does global warming frighten you?
A. I did suffer a short bout of "Tsunami Phobia" after the 04' tragedy but I'm over that now. Sometimes I think too much when I should just shut-up and keep drumming.

Q. What do you think of those so called healthy juice joints that put syrup into their juices and then serve them up in polystyrene cups?
A. Yeah this one bugs me. Its like be (kinda) nice to your body while you f#$k up the earth. Besides, if you want fruit then eat the real thing, too much sugar causes diabetes.

Q. Why does your name rhyme with Bingo?
A. Next.

Q. As an electronic device which emits a certain amount of electromagnetic radiation (emr) under normal operation, what do you say to claims that emr is slowly poisoning users everywhere? Is this part of a sinister plot to overtake the world one person at a time, or is emr merely just a pheromone phenomena that exclusively hooks in techo gear lovers?
A. EMR is like Calvin Klein for geeks. I get jokers who switch me on just to get a fix. Go sniff a Casio or something - better still, go lick a plasma screen!

Need some life advice?

Worried by the state of the world? Looking for some direction and no-one else to turn to? Ask Ringo and he'll set you straighter than a breast implant in Silicone Valley.

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